Category: Life as good as it is

Me… a softie…

Going through old posts here, and found this I posted a year ago.
Almost on the dot!

Theme with variations

Realised I have quite an amount of photos with cups, mugs, shops, breaks, moments…  et cetera – all with the pre-word: Coffee! And also words like cakes, cookies, chocolate and – of course – cafeteria!
I might very well NOT have found all of them…

What does this say about me, I wonder?

And which one of these images isn’t actually a photo of mine? Well I know! And I think you do as well!

Weekly Photo Challenge: Variations on a theme

Time goes by

Long time has gone, since I last posted anything here. I thought it was a month or so, but to my surprise it is closer to three.

What have I done? Well, nothing particular! Just been vegetating, I guess.
And it has been christmas as well… and it’s winter… darkness… dullness

I do have coffe at some cafeteria sometimes, though…
For example at Ikea…

Never too late…

It’s been a bit too much lately, but just the other day I biked to one of “my” Second Hand shops.
Bought a couple of books, and had some coffee.
Nice! 😀

… and then I went home and made nothing… again…

Nice… 😀

Weekly Photo Challenge: Rounded
(the nature uses always curved and rounded lines, we use the straight ones… 😉 )

From good old times

Old times both because my photos here are old, taken 1 January 2009, and also old as nature formation. Well! Partly humans has caused its rough appearance by cutting stones from the primary rock (perhaps better use the word paleozoic?, the base is mainly granite and gneiss), then the nature has made its course of history.

I know very little about this area, and unfortunately I haven’t got any image with a better overview of it. And awkwardly enough, I couldn’t find any good useful image to borrow on the internet either. Not even Wikipedia! There was nothing!
Sometimes you really shouldn’t try to tell about something, just show the images… 😉

Well! There is a stunning view from this peak out over the west sea, Kattegatt, and I’ll give you what I have. Sorry it isn’t more.


My edited ones…

… and some other…

… and this one I finally did find and borrowed. It’s from the local newspaper, Hallands nyheter 25 mars 2009; image Johnny Samuelsson

Weekly Photo Challenge: Layered

Bending reality

One of the Photo Exhibitions at Dunkers Kulturhus – “Dunkers Culture” –  I visited today – here I was standing outside the huge wonderful building, locking my bicycle – in the rain…

Read about this particular exhibition HERE… There is an icon for Google translation in the upper right corner.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Corner

Treating myself

There was actually a Sunday recently, when it was warm enough to sit outdoors – even in the shadow – and eat something nice for lunch.
Place: a big woody park in the northern part of the city. Pålsjö skog – “Pålsjö Forrest”

My course this day: A gluten-free waffle with lunpfish roe and crème fraiche. Water to drink, and coffe. It tasted sooo good!

I got company after a while, since the place was quite crowdy. Two elderly ladies who were really nice to talk to. And since the day also was warm and sunny, it all became very memorable.

Unfortunatly, this last weeks it has been very windy, almost stormy from time to time, and not att all warm. When will the “real” summer arrive! What if it won’t be any “real” summer this year?
Well. at least I won’t sweat like a pig…

Strolling around…

… once in a while
again and again
in the time of summer

The green spot

Fell into flow. Made an image – and then another one…

Feelings of security

The first I saw when I entered the wood (i.e. huge park-area) Pålsjö skog, was not all the beech trees nor the other burgeoning greenery. It was the endless carpets of wood anemones that caught my eyes. I stopped my bike, descended and just went on walking very slowly along the lane, breathing the fresh air, and drinking the beauty around me.

And spring is finally here, that’s for sure! (I hope)

At the old Pavillion, once upon a time built for dancing, you can sit down and enjoy waffles. With or without toppings. And with, for example, coffee! Sitting away from the slightly chilly wind, embracing the sun, was so wonderful. Feelings of being secure, calm, relaxed – and happy – filled me from top to bottom. Really good gut-feelings!

The pavillion, rotunda! If I don’t remember wrong, at least there are possibilities to dance here in the summer. Particularly Midsummer eve.

From some distance…

And no! No toppings for me. Cream makes me feel ill in my stomach; I don’t like jam – too sweet; and didn’t feel like having something salty today. But the waffle was delicious nevertheless. Hot, crispy and with a superb hint of vanilla.


Anemone quinquefolia is an early-spring flowering plant in the genus Anemone, native to North America. It is commonly called wood anemone, like Anemone nemorosa, a closely related European species. The American species has been treated as a subspecies of Anemone nemorosa.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Security

Not Ikea

But another furniture superstore. Not as big as Ikea, but certainly not small. MIO!

I was there to buy myself a decent bed. And I found one which I liked very much and chose. Can’t sleep on the sofa in the long run. Been doing that for 6 months. And been living here in my new apartment in my hometown, after moving back, for 2 months.
How fast time passes by…

The renovation of the room – painting all over, new wallpapers and a really nice parquet flooring of oak – is done. So it was about time to get a bed and some other new stuff, and I thought a bed was the most important.

I think that white book shelf is very appealing… Maybe? Sometime?

Weekly Photo Challenge: Dense

From above – and below

My town! In the midst of  – and the oldest part of it.

The (almost) original

I guess you know by now – I can’t resist colors.
And I certainly couldn’t resist to put roses in the sky

On the other side, behind my back that is,  we have the old tower. Kärnan. (The Core)

Built between 1310 and 1320.
The city itself is roughly 200 years older, but have roots from 800 – 1000.
While there were vikings lurking around the known world.

https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helsingborgs_historia
(sorry! This one is more dedicated to the history but isn’t translated into english.)
(and I refuse to do that)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helsingborg  (in english)

Yes! Color it was and color it is!

The close-UP! (LOL)

Slightly dreamy, ne c’ pas?
I really like this one!

Weekly Photo Challenge: Atop

Deep thinking

I had intended to read, but somehow – and as usual – I never got around to do it. Didn’t even pick a book. Instead I landed in front of the iMac, started Netflix and watched a movie! I of course scrolled a bit at first, didn’t know what to choose, but then from my list, I picked “The bucket list”.
I’ve seen it before, two or three times, but this is that kind of movie you can see over and over again

Okay! Here are these two guys, you know the actors very well, both with cancer meeting each other on the hospital and become friends. Then a Bucket list is made up, and before they die, they go out for some adventure. Doing things they’ve been wanting to do before they die.

It’s a very touching movie, and as usual this topic makes you start thinking. What would I do if I knew for sure, I’d only have three months left before I die!

I’m not sure I can answer that question, not even privately to myself. What would I do? Travel around the world? Visit Masada, the big wall of China, Paris, Kairo, Rome? Would I travel with the Orient Express?

Travel and see the world would be very nice, no doubt about that. But I haven’t that kind of money, and money sure is required if you want to travel around the world.

But wouldn’t it be wonderful, just to let go of things! Quit the ordinary life, sell all my things and rent or borrow some cottage for the remaining months. Never again worry about the future, nor feel sorry about the past. Don’t ever again think of what he or she said or did years ago which made you so sad and anxious.

Just read the books of your choice, meet people you love, and who loves you. Listen to the birds singing, and enjoy the morning sun against your forehead while your having breakfast. Laugh! Dance! Be in the present every second of your life, and enjoy it! No matter how short or long it may be. Enjoy every breath you take. See the beauty in everything that surrounds you!

Do we really have to wait until Death breathes us in the neck, before we realize we are waisting so much time and energy letting negative thoughts occupy our mind?
Let go of the past, and don’t worry about the future! Just live in the present, do what you love, and love what you do!

There is something on my mind

For four years now, I’ve had this Domain registration on this blog together with a privacy protection. In all 26 USD/year. I don’t want to have that any longer, I don’t want to pay anything at all to WP any longer. Not that 25 USD is the end of the world, but there are other things I rather would spend it on.

The main reason though, that I want to remove this domain upgrade, is that I think WP due to its “enhancements” has made blogging more irritating and time consuming. It’s not easier to move around, the “improved editor” is hopeless, and the app is… okay practical to use for scrolling through the reader…

I shouldn’t complain to much perhaps. Despite the “enhancements” WP still might be the best blogg-host, compared to other options – not  that I know of every option there is. (And as long as I won’t encounter wordpress.org) But I don’t want to pay for this upgrade any longer. It isn’t worth it! The only noticable and visible change is the name. With the domain this blogs name is: http://www.ordibild.com. Without it’s called http://www.ordibild.wordpress.com. So!!!!!!??????

And the privacy protection part? I can’t notice any difference from my other blogs! Maybe due to a strong password which I change now and then, and that the mailadress I have here, only is connected to WP and never use anywhere else?

But how do I do to get rid of it?

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I must say! It’s D.I.F.F.I.C.U.L.T to find information. First of all to find any information, second to find a clear concise information about this particular question. After hours of searching, the only thing I found was that I could remove ordibild.com, but nothing says if I still will have http://www.ordibild.wordpress.com? I think so, but can I be sure? Will I still have my posts and my images? Will I still have YOU – my wonderful skillful followers? Or will everything be removed???? All of it????

I have been pondering, should I instead manually delete Words&Pics the ordinary way? Just poofff bang bye and gone forever the entire blog? And instead focus on my other blog where I write more? The blog A new beginning? (Haven’t written much lately, moved to another city, you know, will be back on track)
Or should I just remove “ordibild.com the domain” and hope for the best! Taking a chance all the content still will be there and that none of you will lose me, and therefore I lose you.

Let me have a day or two to reflect on this a bit more. Somehow I’ll remove the domain. And I hope, if lost, we all can find each other again. There are ways!
I’ll be – if possible – at http://www.ordibild.wordpress.com or – if the other occurs – at A new beginning where I in that case will post both images as well as written some-things.

And after all – I’ve just started A New Life! In my original hometown! I’ve already reconnected to some of my old friends AND have met new ones! In less then three weeks. Sometimes it feels funny, awkward, to change what eleven years have done to me, into not the old me, but into a new me. So now I’m picking myself up, dusting myself off, getting myself together, leaving the bad things behind, embrace the learnt lessons-  and start my life again, new and refreshed. In a much better place,

That, I think, is a good match. After all that has happened and to all that now will happen. 😀

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Good Match

The butterfly has landed

Though a gray, rainy day, not even a glimpse of sunshine, all went well with my move. Very well indeed. The worst might have been being without proper Internet for almost five whole days. Could only reach it through my iPhone and 3G/4G, which might had been very expensive if that would have continued for a longer period. So better be cautious, no surfing any waves.

I admit, I felt lonely and isolated without full Internet connection, but I also realized how spoiled we all are with the modern technique. Not necessarily in a bad way. Being connected globally is neither good nor bad in itself, it’s what we use it for that might be either or – or somewhere in between.

But now those days are gone, and I’m sitting here tired but satisfied. I haven’t been doing much since my friend left, just moving around the boxes so they wouldn’t be in the way. Before he left he assembled the sofa-parts, did the connection to Internet via the router, gave me some advice in the matter and then we called for dinner. First time ever I’ve called for dinner to be delivered to my door. Well, never too late to do something for the first time!

My back is aching, and my whole body is kind of stiff. As a board, yes. But I feel so good. When I saw the dining table fitting so well in the kitchen, it was like the sun was shining and my stomach was smiling. I got all warm inside. Then, for the entire evening now, I’ve mostly been dwelling in the sofa watching Netflix. Waatching Star Trek The Next Generation. My favourite together with ST Voyager.

As soon as possible I’ll hunt for some kind of blinds for the windows. I have to have something to hide behind during evenings and nights. Don’t like anybody watching me while I’m sleeping. I also long for taking a bike ride and really do hope I’ll be able to do that already tomorrow. Though… I’ll probably be aching all over, but who cares…

I’m obviously not a butterfly of any kind, but I’ll fly.
I’ve spread my wings and the rest of my life I’ll fly!

There are now…

… four days left before the day when I’ll be moving. Suddenly the days go by very quickly. And every day there is something scheduled to do.

Tomorrow tuesday at 10.15 AM I have my last appointment with my counselor, and in the afternoon I’ll treat my friends at “the office” with “goodbye, farewell, will probably never see you again- cakes”. I never eat that kind of cakes. I’ve baked my own today. A banana-chocolate-almond-one…

Wednesday I and my friend will drive south to get my keys to the new apartment and check so it is whole, clean and in one piece…

Thursday I’ll do the laundry. Extended laundry, you could say. Like – everything!

Friday I have to do some food-shopping. Just milk actually. My helping friend wants milk in his coffee. I never touch the stuff. But I’ll buy some water and beer bottles too. In the afternoon then woman who’ll move in to this apartment comes to get her keys. (Except one)
And in between these musts-to-do’s I have to finish the cleaning and the packing. But that’s no big deal. Done most of it already.

And Saturday my friend comes with the moving car, we load it with my stuff and then drive south.

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Then! I am back in my hometown again! Lucky me! Thank you!

Namaste!

 

All by myself

No, it’s not difficult at all, to live in the land of Nothingness. Partly, of course, because I know it won’t last forever.

But don’t think that Being Alone Doing Nothing, is literally Being Alone Doing Nothing all the time. I still shop for food, cook, eat, have contact with people. I just don’t engage myself in any must-do-ish or have-to-do-ish tasks. In almost no tasks at all, actually. Not been writing much, done next to nil blogging, not been taking any photos. Haven’t made my bed for ages…

the alchemist
One of the few I’ve read lately. Have read before a couple of times – and I still like it.

I have been reading some, but not the philosophy literature I intended to read. Too much engagement, I realized. For now. And those books I have read, have taken me long time to read.
I have been watching quit a lot of movies and such. Including documentaries. And have been crying a lot while watching them. I seem to cry a lot, over all and everything, these days. Even sometimes on some documentary.

It feels good!

But despite the fact I have interacted with friends the last months, most of the time I have spent alone with myself. Many hours of quiet solitude. Okay! I admit! There have been moments and even hours when I have felt terribly alone. But mostly – YES! – it has been both pleasant and awarding.

I have been listening – and trying to follow – meditation- and affirmation videos. I have been training myself to listen to my inner self. My Soul, my Intuition, my Love! Learning to listen to the Divine in me!

Among other things, I’ve realized that during my hours with friends, there are often something said or done that later pops up in my mind which makes me realize something. Something important! About me! About my inner self! And it seems so help me grow both as a human and a spiritual being.

And I consider this very good. 


I feel like I now am doing some kind of retrospective on myself and my life. I am saying goodbye to my past, closing that door behind me, and preparing myself to open a new door. To my future. To a new Now.

And there are 10 days left to dwell…

Namaste!

 

Still lying around

It’s quite an odd feeling, to be in this nothingness just waiting for time to pass. It’s not bad! On the contrary, I have my suspicions it’s rather good! You learn to just “be”, to stay in the Now. If you can’t spend time alone with yourself, then you might be…  quite frustrated. But I can, I like it, I need it! But not every day endlessly.

I do some things, of course! I shop for food, cook, eat, meet friends once in a while. And I spent one whole afternoon after New Year with one of my daughters. She drow 80 kilometers to meet me. And we just kept on talking and talking while walking and window-shopping and having coffee together. It was wonderful!

Yesterday my friend Mac helped with throw away some garbage that couldn’t fit in the ordinary garbage bin. A couple of outdoors wooden chairs that almost was falling apart, and a table to go with those that already had started to fall apart. And you can’t take such items on a bicycle.
Getting rid of garbage feels GOOD. Mental garbage as well as physical.

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So to get rid of the old to let the new come in, is not only to throw away broken furnitures, old magazines or other things you don’t want to keep any more. It’s also to get rid of mental stuff that no longer suits you. So I also listen to a lot of videos on youtube with guided meditations and relaxing music. Learning to let go of old stress and to catch and maintain a more relaxed and loving way to live. Learn to live in the Now and don’t worry.

So I might still be lying around a lot of the time in a physical sence, but in my mind, my psyche and, above all, in my soul – lots are happening.

Soon now I will start pack my things, what I have left of them, and clean the apartment and prepare in all other ways more actively for the move.
There are 29 days left to go, to The Day I’m coming home.

Yeah!

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Found this somewhere…
Love it!
Gonna get myself a fuck it bucket…

Burning, burning

Sorry friends – today in Swedish only. But you can read about Mental Fatigue Syndrom on my other blog if you like. Words & Pics.

Jag lyckades skriva ett ganska långt inlägg om utbrändhet på min andra blogg, Words & Pics. Eller Mentalt utmattningssyndrom som det heter numera. Om jag fattat saken rätt. Till råga på allt skrev jag det på engelska. Inte dåligt. Inte dåligt alls, med tanke på omständigheterna!

yg3Hade tänkt skriva ett på svenska också till den här bloggen, men när jag kom så långt hade jag ingen ork kvar. Det blev soffan, Netflix och Vänner resten av dagen. Och sen har tiden gått. Som den alltid gör. Och jag är en soffpotatis…

Men att inse att det var ME som är basen till mitt smärtelände kändes ändå som ett skönt AHAAA! Även om det varken tar bort ischiassmärtan eller nåt annat. Men det kändes rätt bra att börja strunta i vissa saker. Typ äta gurkmeja till varenda måltid. (Inflammationshämmande – men INTE särskilt gott.)

Och nu då? Tja inte tycks jag få till nåt särskilt inspirerande här inte. Skrivandet kommer inte i nåt lekande flöde. Tvärtom. Men jag hittade en blogspot-blogg som hade ett väldigt bra inlägg. “Tankar om utmattning”.

För övrigt finns det många bra artiklar, bloggar, hemsidor och annat där folk skriver både väl och initierat, så jag behöver inte slå knut på mig själv för informationens skull. Eller gnällande… Det räcker mer än väl att jag lever i det. Nu menar jag utbrändheten och smärtan, försöker undvika gnällande…

Istället försöker jag att ägna mig mera åt meditation, avslappning, affirmationer – att se mig själv som jag vill att jag och mitt liv ska vara – och liknande. Och gurkmeja… ibland… i nån soppa… Och blundar för alla dammråttor och smulor på golvet. Det skitiga badrummet och ännu skitigare köket. Vem orkar BRYYYY sig!

Gathering

For the time being I’m the lousiest photographer ever. Well, I never consider myself being a photographer, but you know what I mean, I guess. I never take any pictures any longer! Other than occasionally one or two from where I live, or just around the corner.

A friend of mine helped me understand why. I’m suffering from something I don’t no what it’s called in English. A burnout, we say here in Sweden. Or as it also is called, a “Mental Fatigue Syndrome” due to stress for a long time.

I knew I had been living in stress for several years which I couldn’t do anything about, and it was a huge relief when I retired in January. It took some time but slowly I started to feel better. My ability to concentrate came back, I could read again, it was fun to blog, I started to work on my novel again and I put in a lot of time and energy. It was SO fun! I loved every minute of it! I also enhanced my biking tours, and in beginning of May I was very hopeful about my health and my future.

That was what I thought! But it didn’t last! Everything started to hurt more then ever before. An inflammation in the hip area, sciatic pain started may 2nd which now runs down both legs. Back and neck pain. Stiffness. Bad sleep. Frustration. Good days mixed with bad days. Hope and hopelessness.

I concentrated on the pain and the inflammation. Turmeic, garlic, ginger, healthy food. Tried to exercise little at a time but every day. Yes, at first I could still read, write, blog, and I did ride my bike – but not as much as I had wanted.
Actually! Biking helped me soften the sciatica and the muscles, since it was very difficult to stand and to walk.
Every morning after breakfast I biked somewhere, and could reasonably well manage the rest of the day. If I didn’t sit too much and for too long periods.

Then about a month ago I realised I became even more tired, irritated, couldn’t concentrate. I even screamed straight out when things messed with me, which I normally never do. I called it ADHD-outbursts and got a bit amazed. I had never done that before. Been screaming and throwing things around me.

My novel became undoable to work with, I was unable to do anything it seemed. I dropped all and everything on the floor. Couldn’t force myself to do the dishes properly, or clean the apartment… my bathroom is semi-icky, my kitchen is icky-icky. I kind of lost myself and couldn’t understand why!

But I have a friend who lives not far away from me. She’s diagnosed with this “mental fatigue syndrome” and had earlier said that I also suffered from it.
“Oh no”, I said then. “I have fibromyalgia and inflammation around the hip bones and sciatic pain. It will pass! Turmeric works! And all the green stuff I eat… bla… bla…. bla…

The truth was, I did eat a lot of healthy food, but I got so bored with it I almost could scream! So between periods with kale and spinach, vegan stuff and super berries, I just had to have bacon or grilled chicken or something with eggs. And got frustrated since nothing seemed to help! I failed to follow the diet I had put on to myself! All those extra vitamins and minerals. I failed with everything.

I did bike, I did try to take walks, I did do my gymnastic training with rubber bands and such. And I did create those posters I had to do. But it was difficult, and I always managed too little, and with too much painful reactions! Or extra fatigue.

And all this THINKING ABOUT GETTING WELL!
All this TRYING!
All this LOSS OF ENERGY!
Takes hours of trying to do something – and still you don’t do it! The dishes for example. Or putting books aside since you can’t understand even one word. Not even being able to watch a movie! Not going anywhere, meeting people. Feeling lonely and depressed – no one loves me, no one misses me, no one cares! Crying. A lot of crying!

Then it was revealed to me, the main cause was mostly psychological! Stress! And that I kept on stressing myself! Probably an inflammation as well, but that wasn’t the main issue, not the starting point. The pain wasn’t the starting point.

I felt really relieved after that conversation with my friend. That and the easy-understanding article she had me read. And she also very clearly pointed out – “You Ninna, are an HSP! A Highly Sensitive Person!”

So after about a month of hitting the bottom (bounce bounce), this big AHA made me feel a bit better. Not well, but better. I’ll now try: not to try so much, not to worry, not to bother. It won’t be easy, but at least it is a way that seems to be the right one. And I’ve written this now. HUGE!

I couldn’t stop pondering how many hours it would take me to finish this blog post. Probably most of the day. And I, who wanted to write something about this in Swedish as well!!! Too much for me to perform now? Probably… At least I have written this. And in English!!! So how many hours did it take? I’m not quite sure. Four?

Just around the corner…

Suddenly it was autumn, with gray clouds and raining the whole day through. But you can not stay indoors all the time just because of that…
can you?
Nope… just most of the time…

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Local

Thank Godess…

… there are editing apps for photos! I could never have done this with my bare hands…fullsizeoutput_2556