It’s quite an odd feeling, to be in this nothingness just waiting for time to pass. It’s not bad! On the contrary, I have my suspicions it’s rather good! You learn to just “be”, to stay in the Now. If you can’t spend time alone with yourself, then you might be… quite frustrated. But I can, I like it, I need it! But not every day endlessly.
I do some things, of course! I shop for food, cook, eat, meet friends once in a while. And I spent one whole afternoon after New Year with one of my daughters. She drow 80 kilometers to meet me. And we just kept on talking and talking while walking and window-shopping and having coffee together. It was wonderful!
Yesterday my friend Mac helped with throw away some garbage that couldn’t fit in the ordinary garbage bin. A couple of outdoors wooden chairs that almost was falling apart, and a table to go with those that already had started to fall apart. And you can’t take such items on a bicycle.
Getting rid of garbage feels GOOD. Mental garbage as well as physical.
So to get rid of the old to let the new come in, is not only to throw away broken furnitures, old magazines or other things you don’t want to keep any more. It’s also to get rid of mental stuff that no longer suits you. So I also listen to a lot of videos on youtube with guided meditations and relaxing music. Learning to let go of old stress and to catch and maintain a more relaxed and loving way to live. Learn to live in the Now and don’t worry.
So I might still be lying around a lot of the time in a physical sence, but in my mind, my psyche and, above all, in my soul – lots are happening.
Soon now I will start pack my things, what I have left of them, and clean the apartment and prepare in all other ways more actively for the move.
There are 29 days left to go, to The Day I’m coming home.